Drezzo35 |
6 month agoGood evening to you, RTG, aka Road to Glory, or should we say Râler ToGether is recruiting! They're all impostors here!
Let's start with our president: he spends all his time moaning about snagging the podium, but always ends up taking a tennis set in IE. 😆 As for Novak and his team, who were supposed to take us to the top, they've ended up as hold luggage. 😄
And then there's Ronol. He's winning everything with RTG2, but as soon as he lands in D1, he won't touch a marble again. 🤭 Not forgetting our members who confuse the PC with the Communist Party... No wonder we're struggling tactically. 😅
And since Drezzo's arrival, things haven't got any better, they've actually got worse. 😁
Aside from all that, the deal is made up of some great guys. OK, some of them are a bit special, but with names like michien, Pigloo and Donpanini, you can't expect to touch the stars. 😁😘
In short, now that the introductions have been made, there's no point in hesitating any longer and bring your strawberry so we can style the finest ass combs in VF 😁💪
https://discord.gg/62Tdwypw Just click here and say hello (otherwise https://youtu.be/x-VYdBKwSLc?si=OSKCtv3JgO4ssC9C 😂)
And there's no point in looking elsewhere, you know a lot of cartels where the smartest guy only has half a brain 😄😎
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kiki-sainté |
6 month agoDrezzo35: Bien le bonsoir à vous, la RTG, alias Road to Glory, ou devrions-nous dire Râler ToGether recrute ! Ici, ce ne sont que des imposteurs !
Commençons par notre président : il passe son temps à râler pour accrocher le podium, mais se retrouve toujours à prendre un set de tennis en IE. 😆 Quant à Novak et sa team, censés nous porter vers les sommets, ils ont fini en bagage en soute. 😄
Et puis, il y a Ronol. Il gagne tout avec la RTG2, mais dès qu'il va débarquer en D1, il ne touchera plus une b...
La Range Ta Gaine is a great place to work with beautiful people. I loved my time with you for 9 seasons
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guantanamera |
6 month agoYes, Ramène Ta Gu**le are a very nice band with whom I worked at a time that people under 20 can't knowuh, Montmartre in those days, hung lilacs right up to the window sillsuh...
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Ronol |
6 month agoDrezzo35: Bien le bonsoir à vous, la RTG, alias Road to Glory, ou devrions-nous dire Râler ToGether recrute ! Ici, ce ne sont que des imposteurs !
Commençons par notre président : il passe son temps à râler pour accrocher le podium, mais se retrouve toujours à prendre un set de tennis en IE. 😆 Quant à Novak et sa team, censés nous porter vers les sommets, ils ont fini en bagage en soute. 😄
Et puis, il y a Ronol. Il gagne tout avec la RTG2, mais dès qu'il va débarquer en D1, il ne touchera plus une b...
We're even open to other cultures!
We also accept those who use charcoal barbecues..
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joevin |
6 month agoYou've even forgotten the old guys in the shop who moan about the trophy they've won but don't actually do anything in the shop
It's a weird mix but it works 🤣🤣
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Drezzo35 |
6 month agoTop 3!!!
Whether it was RTG or RTG 2, both shone, both fought hard and both finished on the podium in third place 🤩🔥💪
Gg to all the mates 😀
And a good end to the season to all
Ps: we're still recruiting lami! 😉👍😎
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Drezzo35 |
49 days agoDo you want to become a legend, collect trophies and make your opponents tremble as if you were Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet? Then RTG1 is for you! Here, you play for victory, defeats are classified as secret defence and the training is more intense than an episode of Dragon Ball Z. ⚽💪🔥
Are you more of a learning Jedi, a round ball Padawan, or just here to understand why your chairman talks to his cactus like it's his sporting director? RTG2** welcomes you with open arms! Here, you'll progress, test and philosophise about tactics more complex than a Westworld scenario. 🤓⚽🤪
One agreement, two styles, but only one truth: at RTG, we play football seriously, without ever taking ourselves too seriously. So join us before we become as mythical as the latest episode of Game of Thrones 😎
#propaganda
#cardboard president
#gulag
#ass comb
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Drezzo35 |
44 days ago📢 FELLOW PLAYERS, YOUR DESTINY IS CALLING YOU! 📢
Are you a competitive soul? Do you dream of D1, of pinpoint passes and victories won by the sweat of your brow (or a lucky shot)? Then join the elite, where only the best survive... or at least, where you can say "it wasn't my fault, it was the pitch!" 😎
Send RTG1 to 61212, and get ready to don the spikes of glory!
💥 THE D2: THE CLUB FOR CLEVER AND CLUMSY PLAYERS 💥
Do you want to progress without taking yourself too seriously? Want to score a goal... even if it's in your own half? 😅 Dreaming of a deal where the president's lame jokes are as legendary as missed penalties?
Then send RTG2 to 61212, and make sure you've got a good cardio... so you can get away from the dodgy jokes.
🎤 This message has been brought to you by R.T.G Corp, official purveyors of epic emotional moments and (accidentally) top corner hits.
Alternatively, you can head straight over to our discord for free.
It's 100% free, 200% fun and 3000% more interesting than watching your cat try to catch a shadow. So, OSE. Come on over. Click. Live the legend. 😎🔥🤩
👉👉👉https://discord.gg/ftv8Avdq👈👈👈
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Ronol |
44 days agoDrezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...
Personally, just for the tactical advice, I'm going straight to the discord 👍
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Pigloo |
43 days agoDrezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...
Too bad the discord link doesn't work in your post 🙈🤣😛!
Long live Ronol ❤️
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Drezzo35 |
38 days ago⚽ RTG is recruiting! And not just a little.
Do you play Virtuafoot? Have you ever put together a team worthy of the name on a Sunday morning, still in your pyjamas and with a slice of toast in your mouth? Then congratulations: you've just met 92% of the criteria for joining LA RTG, that mythical (or mythomaniacal, we're still hesitating) agreement that shines on digital pitches like a fluorescent jersey in the middle of the night.
And because we love organised chaos, the RTG is not one, but two agreements. Yes, two. Like shoes. Like the average number of neurons possessed by each club in the agreement 🧠
🏆 RTG1 - The cream of the crop (or the whipped cream, I'm not sure)
RTG1 is Virtuafoot's self-proclaimed elite, where the beautiful game mixes with bad faith with a rare elegance. It's a bit like the Champions League... if it were played on a website, at 2am, between two existential crises.
We're aiming for the podium, of course. The title? Well, why not? But it's a misunderstanding, because we're above all aesthetes of karma and dubious defensive rebounds.
Our press releases are more polished than an ambitious trainee's CV, our punchlines rain down like crosses from the stands, and our defeats are always the fault of a faulty astral alignment (or the simulation engine, we're still hesitating).
RTG1 is the perfect combination of collective ego and flawed strategy, sprinkled with a touch of poetry. Joining up with them is like putting on a three-piece suit to go to a water fight: pointless, but terribly satisfying.
🧙 RTG2:
Run with a clammy hand by the self-proclaimed king of the ass-combers (a title he carved himself into the sand with a toothpick), this cartel is a breeding ground for learning.
Yes, the boss has the charisma of a sulky endive, but in his pettiness, he will train you. He'll take you under his (recycled plastic) wing and make you not just a Padawan, but THE Jedi of the tactical sandbox. That's right.
They'll teach you patience, squad rotation, and the subtle art of selling a slammed striker to another team for the price of an NFT. 🐦
But then why come to us? 🤔😏
Because we have a laugh, we chat to each other, we share tactics like others share cat memes. Because we have a Discord that's livelier than a multiplex at the 90th.
And because let's be honest: your Virtuafoot career needs us just as much as we need new recruits who can read a compo without sweating their foreheads off. 🥵
So bring it on, with or without socks, with your talent, your self-deprecation, and your love of the beautiful game. RTG, "where even your defeat has style." 😎
Ps: don't forget to pick up your party card 💂
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Ronol |
26 days agoDrezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...
Only 8 places left!
Two clubs have already been convinced by Ronol's tactical advice and certified by Demi (when he's drunk).
Hurry up and go to the discord!
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ManuM |
26 days agoRonol: Plus que 8 places !
Déjà deux clubs ont été convaincus par les conseils tactiques de Ronol et certifiés par Demi (quand il est bourrés)
Dépécher vous d’allez sur le discord !
I come on your discord to put gif Kaamelott! See you soon!
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Ronol |
26 days agoManuM: Je viens sur votre discord pour mettre des gif Kaamelott !! A tout de suite!
Go on!
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OncleOink |
26 days agoimage](https://i.imgur.com/LNoAr6D.jpeg)" I, Iossif Vissarionovitch Djougachvili, aka Joseph S., since I tried RTG, it's transformed my life!
Before, I was belligerent and I solved my problems by purging. But today I'm better. I've got lots of new proletarian friends! "
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Drezzo35 |
23 days ago⚔️ Oyé, oyé Virtuafoot managers ⚽
By this noble and venerable parchment, what shall I say, this proclamation engraved in the pixelated marble of our screens, I inform the populas, from the humblest apprentice tactician to the seasoned strategist, that the glorious RTG cartel, illustrious by its history and greatness (and sometimes by its over-drunk third halves), is launching a major recruitment campaign for its two legendary entities.
🎩 This is no ordinary recruitment drive! Quite the contrary. It's an adventure in team spirit, a passion for football and an unconditional love of Excel transfer tables. We're not promising wealth or eternal glory (apart from maybe a gold badge on Discord, and even then 🤭 ), but camaraderie, virtual sweat, and the sacred opportunity to shout "Tactics!" at three o'clock in the morning when everyone else is asleep. 😅
🏰 Whatever your level, whether you're a spirited young coach or an old hand nostalgic for the inverted 4-4-2 diamond, our doors are wide open, as long as you come with heart, humour and a touch of self-deprecation.
📜 Join RTG, where legends are born... and defeats become epic anecdotes told on the general channel (FALSE! We do what everyone else does, we moan and complain about the mdm 🤪).
And don't worry, there's very little room left for sound advice from our Ronol (what money can't buy... 🫣🤭💸).
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Drezzo35 |
13 days ago⚽ [RTG RECRUITMENT - FOR THOSE WITH LEATHER IN THEIR BLOOD] ⚽
Do you dream of glory, trophies, and wild evenings discussing tactics with people who take Virtuafoot far too seriously?
Do you want to join a team where humour is sharper than your 4-3-3 attack?
Do you want to shine without having to sell your soul to a mega-structure that demands weekly reports and human sacrifice?
Then RTG is the place for you!
🎯 Why join us?
- Because we're a bunch of mild-mannered lunatics who think that the real tactic is to make people think we have one.
- Because we have members who know how to combine "high pressing" with "long nap".
- Because we have goals... but we watch them from a distance, a long way away even.
🧠 Profile sought:
- You know how to click on "match" without triggering an existential crisis.
- You can read a 3-line message without asking for a summary.
- You've got a sharper sense of humour than your central defence.
💬 What we're offering you:
- Tactical advice that's worth what it's worth (but at least it's free).
- An atmosphere where chambering is an art, and bad faith a religion.
- Active, responsive and sometimes even emotional members (but that's optional).
📩 Interested? Intrigued? Desperate?
Come and talk to us, we don't bite (except in the case of unfair defeat, then it's every man for himself).
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Drezzo35 |
6 days ago🎯 [RECRUITMENT RTG1 &2] 🎯
Come and join us, it's no worse than anywhere else (I promise).
Are you fed up with vForum, which is looking more and more like a condominium meeting on acid? 🤮
Looking for a place where we can talk football, tactics and sometimes even life (but never seriously)?
Do you want to get away from drama, oversized egos and sterile debates about who has the most possession of the ball?
If so, RTG is opening its arms to you... well, its doors... You know what I mean 😏
⚽ Why RTG?
- Because we've already experienced the height of VF (yes, we have screenshots).
- Because we're dynamic, even if we're full of ass-combers (that's our charm and then a team of hairdressers is handy to give the regulars a breather).
- Because RTG2 has the worst president in VF, but he's endearing... like an ugly old Christmas jumper.
- Because we laugh, we play, and we never take ourselves too seriously (except when we're talking tactics with Ronol 🫣🤭).
💬 What we offer:
- An atmosphere far removed from the doldrums of vForum, where the only drama is when someone forgets to put in their typical team.
- Tactical advice, dubious jokes and impassioned debates on Drezzo's worst bullshit (and believe me, there's a lot of it! 😄).
- It's a real community in the making, with no desire to take over the world (just to win a few matches and encourage people to join the 🗳️ party).
📩 Join us if :
- You want to progress without being judged by a guy who thinks he's Guardiola.
- You like second degree, self-mockery and people who know that VF is a game.
- You want to be part of a team with experience, potential and above all... heart (and punchlines, we've got mc half us drop the mic 😎).
👉 RTG - Join the real ones, run away from the fakes.
We're waiting for you, with our mismatched socks and our wobbly good humour like our IE tactics 😁
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OncleOink |
2 days agoAt RTG, you'll learn the rudiments of tactics...
image](https://i.imgur.com/sd4N79Y.jpeg) "Where there is a will, there is a way". Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
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Ronol |
12h agoOncleOink: A la RTG, tu apprendras les rudiments tactiques...
"Là où il y a une volonté, il y a un chemin." Vladimir Ilitch Lénine
We make do with what we've got!
In my day, we used 3 pieces of wood to play Mikado!
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OncleOink |
7h agoimage](https://i.imgur.com/vjmCyyB.jpeg)
In my day, you could build a watchtower with just 3 pieces of wood!
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Demi-cerveau |
7h agoOncleOink:
De mon temps avec 3 bouts de bois, on montait un mirador !
Or a gallows ...
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