Good evening to you, RTG, aka Road to Glory, or should we say Râler ToGether is recruiting! They're all impostors here!

Let's start with our president: he spends all his time moaning about snagging the podium, but always ends up taking a tennis set in IE. 😆 As for Novak and his team, who were supposed to take us to the top, they've ended up as hold luggage. 😄
And then there's Ronol. He's winning everything with RTG2, but as soon as he lands in D1, he won't touch a marble again. 🤭 Not forgetting our members who confuse the PC with the Communist Party... No wonder we're struggling tactically. 😅
And since Drezzo's arrival, things haven't got any better, they've actually got worse. 😁

Aside from all that, the deal is made up of some great guys. OK, some of them are a bit special, but with names like michien, Pigloo and Donpanini, you can't expect to touch the stars. 😁😘

In short, now that the introductions have been made, there's no point in hesitating any longer and bring your strawberry so we can style the finest ass combs in VF 😁💪

https://discord.gg/62Tdwypw Just click here and say hello (otherwise https://youtu.be/x-VYdBKwSLc?si=OSKCtv3JgO4ssC9C 😂)

And there's no point in looking elsewhere, you know a lot of cartels where the smartest guy only has half a brain 😄😎

Drezzo35: Bien le bonsoir à vous, la RTG, alias Road to Glory, ou devrions-nous dire Râler ToGether recrute ! Ici, ce ne sont que des imposteurs !

Commençons par notre président : il passe son temps à râler pour accrocher le podium, mais se retrouve toujours à prendre un set de tennis en IE. 😆 Quant à Novak et sa team, censés nous porter vers les sommets, ils ont fini en bagage en soute. 😄
Et puis, il y a Ronol. Il gagne tout avec la RTG2, mais dès qu'il va débarquer en D1, il ne touchera plus une b...

La Range Ta Gaine is a great place to work with beautiful people. I loved my time with you for 9 seasons

Yes, Ramène Ta Gu**le are a very nice band with whom I worked at a time that people under 20 can't knowuh, Montmartre in those days, hung lilacs right up to the window sillsuh...

Drezzo35: Bien le bonsoir à vous, la RTG, alias Road to Glory, ou devrions-nous dire Râler ToGether recrute ! Ici, ce ne sont que des imposteurs !

Commençons par notre président : il passe son temps à râler pour accrocher le podium, mais se retrouve toujours à prendre un set de tennis en IE. 😆 Quant à Novak et sa team, censés nous porter vers les sommets, ils ont fini en bagage en soute. 😄
Et puis, il y a Ronol. Il gagne tout avec la RTG2, mais dès qu'il va débarquer en D1, il ne touchera plus une b...

We're even open to other cultures!
We also accept those who use charcoal barbecues..

You've even forgotten the old guys in the shop who moan about the trophy they've won but don't actually do anything in the shop

It's a weird mix but it works 🤣🤣

Top 3!!!

Whether it was RTG or RTG 2, both shone, both fought hard and both finished on the podium in third place 🤩🔥💪

Gg to all the mates 😀
And a good end to the season to all

Ps: we're still recruiting lami! 😉👍😎

Do you want to become a legend, collect trophies and make your opponents tremble as if you were Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet? Then RTG1 is for you! Here, you play for victory, defeats are classified as secret defence and the training is more intense than an episode of Dragon Ball Z. ⚽💪🔥

Are you more of a learning Jedi, a round ball Padawan, or just here to understand why your chairman talks to his cactus like it's his sporting director? RTG2** welcomes you with open arms! Here, you'll progress, test and philosophise about tactics more complex than a Westworld scenario. 🤓⚽🤪

One agreement, two styles, but only one truth: at RTG, we play football seriously, without ever taking ourselves too seriously. So join us before we become as mythical as the latest episode of Game of Thrones 😎

#propaganda
#cardboard president
#gulag
#ass comb

📢 FELLOW PLAYERS, YOUR DESTINY IS CALLING YOU! 📢
Are you a competitive soul? Do you dream of D1, of pinpoint passes and victories won by the sweat of your brow (or a lucky shot)? Then join the elite, where only the best survive... or at least, where you can say "it wasn't my fault, it was the pitch!" 😎
Send RTG1 to 61212, and get ready to don the spikes of glory!

💥 THE D2: THE CLUB FOR CLEVER AND CLUMSY PLAYERS 💥
Do you want to progress without taking yourself too seriously? Want to score a goal... even if it's in your own half? 😅 Dreaming of a deal where the president's lame jokes are as legendary as missed penalties?
Then send RTG2 to 61212, and make sure you've got a good cardio... so you can get away from the dodgy jokes.

🎤 This message has been brought to you by R.T.G Corp, official purveyors of epic emotional moments and (accidentally) top corner hits.

Alternatively, you can head straight over to our discord for free.
It's 100% free, 200% fun and 3000% more interesting than watching your cat try to catch a shadow. So, OSE. Come on over. Click. Live the legend. 😎🔥🤩
👉👉👉https://discord.gg/ftv8Avdq👈👈👈

Drezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !

💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...

Personally, just for the tactical advice, I'm going straight to the discord 👍

Drezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !

💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...

Too bad the discord link doesn't work in your post 🙈🤣😛!

Long live Ronol ❤️

⚽ RTG is recruiting! And not just a little.

Do you play Virtuafoot? Have you ever put together a team worthy of the name on a Sunday morning, still in your pyjamas and with a slice of toast in your mouth? Then congratulations: you've just met 92% of the criteria for joining LA RTG, that mythical (or mythomaniacal, we're still hesitating) agreement that shines on digital pitches like a fluorescent jersey in the middle of the night.

And because we love organised chaos, the RTG is not one, but two agreements. Yes, two. Like shoes. Like the average number of neurons possessed by each club in the agreement 🧠

🏆 RTG1 - The cream of the crop (or the whipped cream, I'm not sure)
RTG1 is Virtuafoot's self-proclaimed elite, where the beautiful game mixes with bad faith with a rare elegance. It's a bit like the Champions League... if it were played on a website, at 2am, between two existential crises.
We're aiming for the podium, of course. The title? Well, why not? But it's a misunderstanding, because we're above all aesthetes of karma and dubious defensive rebounds.
Our press releases are more polished than an ambitious trainee's CV, our punchlines rain down like crosses from the stands, and our defeats are always the fault of a faulty astral alignment (or the simulation engine, we're still hesitating).
RTG1 is the perfect combination of collective ego and flawed strategy, sprinkled with a touch of poetry. Joining up with them is like putting on a three-piece suit to go to a water fight: pointless, but terribly satisfying.

🧙 RTG2:
Run with a clammy hand by the self-proclaimed king of the ass-combers (a title he carved himself into the sand with a toothpick), this cartel is a breeding ground for learning.
Yes, the boss has the charisma of a sulky endive, but in his pettiness, he will train you. He'll take you under his (recycled plastic) wing and make you not just a Padawan, but THE Jedi of the tactical sandbox. That's right.
They'll teach you patience, squad rotation, and the subtle art of selling a slammed striker to another team for the price of an NFT. 🐦

But then why come to us? 🤔😏
Because we have a laugh, we chat to each other, we share tactics like others share cat memes. Because we have a Discord that's livelier than a multiplex at the 90th.
And because let's be honest: your Virtuafoot career needs us just as much as we need new recruits who can read a compo without sweating their foreheads off. 🥵

So bring it on, with or without socks, with your talent, your self-deprecation, and your love of the beautiful game. RTG, "where even your defeat has style." 😎

Ps: don't forget to pick up your party card 💂

Drezzo35: 📢 AMIS JOUEURS, VOTRE DESTIN VOUS APPELLE ! 📢
Tu as l’âme d’un compétiteur ? Tu rêves de D1, de passes millimétrées et de victoires arrachées à la sueur de ton front (ou d’un tir chanceux) ? Alors rejoins l’élite, là où seuls les meilleurs survivent... ou du moins, là où on peut dire "c’était pas ma faute, c’est le terrain !" 😎
Envoie RTG1 au 61212, et prépare-toi à enfiler les crampons de la gloire !

💥 LA D2 : LE CLUB DES JOUEURS MALIN(S) ET MALADROIT(S) 💥
Tu ve...

Only 8 places left!
Two clubs have already been convinced by Ronol's tactical advice and certified by Demi (when he's drunk).
Hurry up and go to the discord!

Ronol: Plus que 8 places !
Déjà deux clubs ont été convaincus par les conseils tactiques de Ronol et certifiés par Demi (quand il est bourrés)
Dépécher vous d’allez sur le discord !

I come on your discord to put gif Kaamelott! See you soon!

ManuM: Je viens sur votre discord pour mettre des gif Kaamelott !! A tout de suite!

Go on!

image](https://i.imgur.com/LNoAr6D.jpeg)" I, Iossif Vissarionovitch Djougachvili, aka Joseph S., since I tried RTG, it's transformed my life!
Before, I was belligerent and I solved my problems by purging. But today I'm better. I've got lots of new proletarian friends! "

⚔️ Oyé, oyé Virtuafoot managers ⚽

By this noble and venerable parchment, what shall I say, this proclamation engraved in the pixelated marble of our screens, I inform the populas, from the humblest apprentice tactician to the seasoned strategist, that the glorious RTG cartel, illustrious by its history and greatness (and sometimes by its over-drunk third halves), is launching a major recruitment campaign for its two legendary entities.

🎩 This is no ordinary recruitment drive! Quite the contrary. It's an adventure in team spirit, a passion for football and an unconditional love of Excel transfer tables. We're not promising wealth or eternal glory (apart from maybe a gold badge on Discord, and even then 🤭 ), but camaraderie, virtual sweat, and the sacred opportunity to shout "Tactics!" at three o'clock in the morning when everyone else is asleep. 😅

🏰 Whatever your level, whether you're a spirited young coach or an old hand nostalgic for the inverted 4-4-2 diamond, our doors are wide open, as long as you come with heart, humour and a touch of self-deprecation.

📜 Join RTG, where legends are born... and defeats become epic anecdotes told on the general channel (FALSE! We do what everyone else does, we moan and complain about the mdm 🤪).

And don't worry, there's very little room left for sound advice from our Ronol (what money can't buy... 🫣🤭💸).

⚽ [RTG RECRUITMENT - FOR THOSE WITH LEATHER IN THEIR BLOOD] ⚽

Do you dream of glory, trophies, and wild evenings discussing tactics with people who take Virtuafoot far too seriously?
Do you want to join a team where humour is sharper than your 4-3-3 attack?
Do you want to shine without having to sell your soul to a mega-structure that demands weekly reports and human sacrifice?
Then RTG is the place for you!

🎯 Why join us?

• Because we're a bunch of mild-mannered lunatics who think that the real tactic is to make people think we have one.
• Because we have members who know how to combine "high pressing" with "long nap".
• Because we have goals... but we watch them from a distance, a long way away even.

🧠 Profile sought:

• You know how to click on "match" without triggering an existential crisis.
• You can read a 3-line message without asking for a summary.
• You've got a sharper sense of humour than your central defence.

💬 What we're offering you:

• Tactical advice that's worth what it's worth (but at least it's free).
• An atmosphere where chambering is an art, and bad faith a religion.
• Active, responsive and sometimes even emotional members (but that's optional).

📩 Interested? Intrigued? Desperate?
Come and talk to us, we don't bite (except in the case of unfair defeat, then it's every man for himself).

🎯 [RECRUITMENT RTG1 &2] 🎯
Come and join us, it's no worse than anywhere else (I promise).

Are you fed up with vForum, which is looking more and more like a condominium meeting on acid? 🤮
Looking for a place where we can talk football, tactics and sometimes even life (but never seriously)?
Do you want to get away from drama, oversized egos and sterile debates about who has the most possession of the ball?
If so, RTG is opening its arms to you... well, its doors... You know what I mean 😏

⚽ Why RTG?

• Because we've already experienced the height of VF (yes, we have screenshots).
• Because we're dynamic, even if we're full of ass-combers (that's our charm and then a team of hairdressers is handy to give the regulars a breather).
• Because RTG2 has the worst president in VF, but he's endearing... like an ugly old Christmas jumper.
• Because we laugh, we play, and we never take ourselves too seriously (except when we're talking tactics with Ronol 🫣🤭).

💬 What we offer:

• An atmosphere far removed from the doldrums of vForum, where the only drama is when someone forgets to put in their typical team.
• Tactical advice, dubious jokes and impassioned debates on Drezzo's worst bullshit (and believe me, there's a lot of it! 😄).
• It's a real community in the making, with no desire to take over the world (just to win a few matches and encourage people to join the 🗳️ party).

📩 Join us if :

• You want to progress without being judged by a guy who thinks he's Guardiola.
• You like second degree, self-mockery and people who know that VF is a game.
• You want to be part of a team with experience, potential and above all... heart (and punchlines, we've got mc half us drop the mic 😎).

👉 RTG - Join the real ones, run away from the fakes.
We're waiting for you, with our mismatched socks and our wobbly good humour like our IE tactics 😁

At RTG, you'll learn the rudiments of tactics...
image](https://i.imgur.com/sd4N79Y.jpeg) "Where there is a will, there is a way". Vladimir Ilyich Lenin

OncleOink: A la RTG, tu apprendras les rudiments tactiques...
"Là où il y a une volonté, il y a un chemin." Vladimir Ilitch Lénine

We make do with what we've got!
In my day, we used 3 pieces of wood to play Mikado!

image](https://i.imgur.com/vjmCyyB.jpeg)
In my day, you could build a watchtower with just 3 pieces of wood!

OncleOink:
De mon temps avec 3 bouts de bois, on montait un mirador !

Or a gallows ...

Focus on :

🧙‍♂️ Ronol, RTG's magician (but only one night per season)

Once upon a time, in the modest but proud lands of RTG, there was a man called Ronol. Not a man like the others. No, Ronol wasn't an outstanding tactician or a Guardiola-style leader of men. But he had something the others didn't: a heart as big as a beach soccer ball and an unshakeable faith in the virtues of the 4-4-2 approximation.

⚽️ Early days: hopes and backward passes

Ronol made a name for himself in his first few seasons. Not for his revolutionary tactical schemes (which often resembled children's drawings on a whiteboard), but for his ability to motivate his players with speeches worthy of a B-movie. He believed in them, even when they themselves no longer did.

And sometimes that belief paid off. Especially when the opposition fielded their B team, made up of youngsters still in the throes of footballing puberty. That's when Ronol shone. One victory followed another: 2-1 against AS Tartanpion's substitutes, 1-0 against Olympique de la Cafetière's U19s... Prestigious successes, according to the club's press releases, which did not hesitate to speak of a "historic remontada" when the team came back from 0-1 to 1-1.

🧠 Tactics: a fuzzy science

But when the A teams turned up, with their sharp starters and qualified coaches, our dear Ronol's team turned into a tragic ballet. Passes never reached their destination, restarts resembled panicked clearances, and Ronol's instructions ("Keep it moving, but not too fast!") plunged his players into existential confusion.

The result: bitter defeats: 0-4, 1-5, sometimes even a 0-7 that made the RTG look like a table football agreement without handles.

But Ronol was never discouraged. He used to say:
"You learn more from defeat than from victory. Especially when you lose a lot.

🌟 The benchmark match: the annual moment of grace

And then, once a season, like a miracle from heaven, Ronol beat a big club. A real one. A favourite. A behemoth. Nobody understood how. The commentators spoke of "cosmic synergy", the fans spoke of "the magic of Ronol", and he, humble, simply said:
"We ate well before the match, that helps."

This match became the benchmark match. The one that came up in every interview, every press conference, every barroom chat.
"Do you remember when we beat FC Panzer? That was Ronol.

But alas, that performance was never repeated until the following season. Like comets, it shone for a moment, then disappeared into the oblivion of Sunday defeats.

🫶 Ronol's legacy

Today, Ronol is still there. On the bench, with his oversized cap and his notebook full of incomprehensible diagrams. He continues to believe, to motivate, to lose with panache and to win when nobody expects him to.

And in a way, that's the real legend: a man who doesn't always understand football, but who loves it more than anything.

Drezzo35: Focus sur :

🧙‍♂️ Ronol, le magicien de la RTG (mais seulement un soir par saison)

Il était une fois, dans les contrées modestes mais fières de la RTG, un homme nommé Ronol. Pas un homme comme les autres. Non, Ronol n’était pas un tacticien hors pair, ni un meneur d’hommes à la Guardiola. Mais il avait quelque chose que les autres n’avaient pas : un cœur gros comme un ballon de beach soccer et une foi inébranlable dans les vertus du 4-4-2 approximatif.

⚽️ Les débuts : entre espoirs et pas...

I'd like to point out that Ronol beat me in the IS final in season 137, denying me a perfect score. He knows how to get out of difficult situations. Unless it was due to his 'cosmic synergy', or he had eaten well before the match ;-)
Well done again...
Sincerely hydilik

Hydilik: Je tiens souligner que Ronol m'a battu en finale des IS lors de la saison 137, me privant ainsi d'un perfect. Il sait se sortir de situations pas faciles. À moins que ce soit dû à sa « synergie cosmique », ou avait-il bien mangé avant le match, ;-)
Encore bravo a lui...
Cordialement hydilik

Before each match, I call on a marabout to win the match, it works 1 time out of 10 ...
Unfortunately for you in that famous final, he was right about the incantation 😂
It was still fun playing you, you're a formidable tactician, underrated on VF 😌

Ronol: Avant chaque match, je fait appel à un marabout pour gagner le match, ça marche 1 fois sur 10 …
Malheureusement pour toi sur cette fameuse finale, il s’est pas tromper sur l’incantation 😂
C’était quand même plaisant de t’affronter, tu est un redoutable tacticien, sous-coté sur VF 😌

If you can kiss my ass somewhere else, gentlemen, I'd be grateful👅😄😘

Drezzo35: Si vous pouvez allez vous faire de la lèche ailleurs messieurs je vous en serais reconnaissant👅😄😘

Jealous 😂

image](https://i.imgur.com/0OIjPxU.jpeg)
Ronol: "RTG... home! "

OncleOink:
Ronol : " RTG... maison !! "

Ah drezzo 😅

🇷🇺 Join RTG - Football's Vanguard! 🇷🇺

Kamarad Manager,
These are serious times. The world of Virtuafoot is plagued by tactical capitalism and the individualistic excesses of the mercato. But one light is shining in the darkness: RTG, the Glorious Entente, the Radical Union of Generous Tacticians.

🎖️ Why join us?

• Because we don't play for personal glory, but for the Party.
• Because with us, pressing is collective, like the wheat harvest in 1953.
• Because we don't say "GG", we say "Glory to Kamarad!"
• Because our tactics are more secret than KGB plans.
  • Because every match is a battle. Every victory a conquest of the people.

📜 Entry requirements:

• Have your Party card.
• Swear loyalty to the Entente and its principles: solidarity, rigour, and Soviet humour.
• Be prepared to undergo tactical briefings longer than Brezhnev's speech.

🚀 Benefits:

• Strategic advice worthy of the Politburo.
• A fraternal atmosphere, beer not included (but vodka is served as much as you like).
• The certainty of being part of a project bigger than yourself: Here, individual glory is a bourgeois myth. Only the collective triumphs.
• There are no stars here. Just the soldiers of the 4-4-2.
  • The bench? That's for traitors to the Party.

📢 ✊ Kamarad, your destiny awaits you. The Party is watching you. It's time to put on your boots and serve the cause. Join us.
Don't remain isolated in your tactical kolkhoz. Join us in building the football empire. Together, we'll shake the leagues like the Iron Curtain.

RTG, It's One for all, all for the Party. 💂

YOU TOO KAMARAD MANAGER, BY JOINING THE RTG LIKE DREZZO, YOU CAN TAKE PART IN A POLITICAL RE-EDUCATION CAMP AND SEE THE WORLD UNDER A NEW SKY!!!!

Is the agreement inspired by the Soviet state of mind?
It's just a simple question, based on recent texts and images. I don't want any polemics!

Good luck to you RTG! 👍✨

King: L'entente s'inspire de l'état d'esprit des soviétiques ?
C'est juste une simple question, à la lecture des textes et images récentes. Je ne veux point de polémique !

Bon courage à vous la RTG ! 👍✨

You don't want to be polemical and yet you've put a big one over it. I'm not RTG, you have to know how to read the 2nd degree. Wow, that's serious. I found his message, like the previous ones, very well written and very funny personally. I invite you to read the previous messages and you'll find something other than the Soviet Union. I can't believe it.

King: L'entente s'inspire de l'état d'esprit des soviétiques ?
C'est juste une simple question, à la lecture des textes et images récentes. Je ne veux point de polémique !

Bon courage à vous la RTG ! 👍✨

Oh dear, the Soviet spirit! You mean we'll soon be handing out medals for tidying your socks and singing the entente anthem in canon, kazoo version? 😆
But what a shame... the second degree has obviously been sent to Siberia without a coat! 😄 We could have had a humorous revolution, overthrown seriousness, and established a dictatorship of LOL.

And between you and me, if the recent texts and images evoke the USSR, it's probably because we forgot to add unicorns and cat gifs, no more and no less. But I promise next time we'll bring out the good old Lenin moonwalking meme 🕺🇷🇺

No controversy, I promise. Just an attempt at diplomatic détente with a bit of joke and a lot of brotherly love... Kamarad😄 style.

Ps: you'll have to read the other posts on this topic to understand that every week we innovate and change the themes to recruit new members 😉😘

But...But.... Take it easy, kamarads! I assure you that my question had nothing to do with anything other than understanding 😂😂😂 I did understand the humorous aspect, which I very much appreciate, by the way.

Good game ✨👍

Drezzo35: Oh là là, l’esprit soviétique ?! Tu veux dire qu’on va bientôt distribuer des médailles pour avoir bien rangé ses chaussettes et chanter l’hymne de l’entente en canon, version kazoo ? 😆
Mais quel dommage… le second degré a visiblement été envoyé en Sibérie sans manteau ! 😄 On aurait pu faire une révolution humoristique, renverser le sérieux, et instaurer une dictature du LOL.

Et puis entre nous, si les textes et images récentes évoquent l’URSS, c’est sûrement parce qu’on a oublié d’ajout...

I'd love to hear the kazoo version of the entente hymn 👀

Although on second thoughts....runs away

King: Mais...Mais.... Tranquille les kamarads ! Je vous assure que ma question n'avait rien d'autre que de comprendre 😂😂😂 j'avais bien compris l'aspect humoristique, que j'apprécie beaucoup d'ailleurs.

Bon jeu ✨👍

In Russian, "Good game" can be translated according to the context. If you want to wish someone a good time playing, you can say :

😘🎮 Хорошей игры! (Khoroshey igry!)

I see we're not talking about the gulag yet... but it does put things in perspective ^^.

Uncle Oink should be able to bring back his knowledge of Red Army choirs. You won't believe your ears.

King: Mais...Mais.... Tranquille les kamarads ! Je vous assure que ma question n'avait rien d'autre que de comprendre 😂😂😂 j'avais bien compris l'aspect humoristique, que j'apprécie beaucoup d'ailleurs.

Bon jeu ✨👍

Too late!
To the gulag! Wretched capitalists! 😂

TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO SEDUCTIVE MANAGERS LURKING AMONG YOU, POLITBURO PROPOSES A COLLECTIVE SELF-CRITICISM SESSION AND A SHORT STAY AT A POLITICAL RE-EDUCATION CAMP IN EASTERN SIBERIA!
image](https://i.imgur.com/sHKK9i0.jpeg) (PS: don't forget your mittens, the nights are chilly, kamarads!!!)

🎬 RTG - The Film (or almost) 🎬
Dramatic voiceover, epic atmosphere, suspenseful music with escalating drums and violins...

"They were young. They were crazy. They had reverse 4-2-3-1 tactics.
And above all... they had time to waste. (Well, especially the guy who writes all this crap)"

🔥 RTG - Reunion of Genetically Unstable Tacticians - returns for a season that's even more absurd, more intense, and as needlessly passionate as ever.

👔 Coaches in their pants, PMs sent at 3am, transfers that look like poorly organised robberies...
Welcome to the agreement where every match is an excuse to throw punchlines between Kamarad.

⚽ Do you want to progress?
We've got tactical tips that have a 50% chance of working... and a 100% chance of making your opponent laugh.

💬 Want a chat?
We talk football, but also magik's sister, and why pigeons are the real masters of the world.

🎯 Do you want to win?
Well... that's not too much to ask. But losing with panache, that's something we've mastered.

RTG is like a kebab at 2am: you know you're going to regret it, but you do it anyway.

This season... they're not looking for glory.
They're just looking for someone who understands Pascal Dupraz jokes."

🎖️ Join RTG.
Because we don't promise anything... except a lot of paving stones in your little face, PMs in caps lock, and tactics that defy human logic.

RTG - The agreement that makes you say: "Why did I click?

Scheduled for release in season 143!

Script: Drezzo
Produced by Demi-cerveau
Music : Novak
Script : c'est une bonne situation
Dress and make-up: Ronol & David
Director: Tonny
Voice-over: Sprecto
Stunt double: Uncle Oink

Drezzo35: 🎬 RTG — Le Film (ou presque) 🎬
Voix off dramatique, ambiance épique, musique de suspense avec tambours et violons qui montent en intensité…

« Ils étaient jeunes. Ils étaient fous. Ils avaient des tactiques en 4-2-3-1 inversé.
Et surtout… ils avaient du temps à perdre. (Enfin surtout celui qui écrit toutes ces conneries)»

🔥 RTG — Réunion de Tacticiens Génétiquement instables — revient pour une saison encore plus absurde, plus intense, et toujours aussi inutilement passionnée.

---...

After losing my home at 55 rue du Faubourg-Saint-Honoré in Paris, I had no taste for anything. Even the virtues of socialism no longer soothed my anxieties... But since I discovered the 'Road To the Glory of the Hemorroids', everything has changed... I've discovered that defeat is a way of life, a source of laughter if not glory...... Hey... ehhhhhhhhhh!!!!

🎭 [Scene at the Conseil de l'Entente - La RTG]

Arthur: Right, we're recruiting. We need new blood. Motivated, active players who understand the basics of football.

Perceval: Like, who know that you have to put the ball in the thing with the net?

Karadoc: Nets are for fish. These are cages. I think.

Léodagan: Are you serious? We want guys who know what a 4-3-3 is, not Breton fishermen!

Perceval: I've got a tactic. We put all the players in the middle. That way, no-one's too far from the ball.

Arthur: But that's not a tactic! That's a mob!

Karadoc: How about a buffet at half-time? That's motivating.

Leodagan: There you go. We recruit some strategists, and we end up with the two greatest thinkers on Chips.

Arthur : Anyway. If you're active, likeable, like a good game and like a good joke, join RTG. We've got heart, we've got humour, and sometimes we even win.

Perceval: And nets!

Karadoc: For the fish.

🏰 [Official Recruitment Proclamation - Entente La RTG] 🏰
Drafted under the approximate supervision of the Virtual Football High Council, with the blessing of Merlin (who understood nothing but said yes).

⚔️ Why RTG?

• Because we have more solid tactics than Merlin's explanations of wormholes.
• Because we have members who are more loyal than Bohort to his principles (even if it's pointless).
• Because we laugh, we play and we don't sacrifice anyone. Except the inactives. We banish them like Meleagant.

🍗 What's expected of you:

• That you're active (like, more often than Percival understands the rules).
• That you take part in agreement matches (otherwise we'll send Yvain to motivate you, and that's going to take a long time).
• That you're nice, or at least that you don't shout "That's not wrong" at every sentence.

📜 What we're offering you:

• An atmosphere worthy of a royal banquet: loud, greasy, and people shouting "REVOLT!"
• A Discord to discuss tactics, lame jokes, and approximate strategy.
• And matches where we fight like lions (or chickens, depending on the form of the day). By the way, where's the chick?

Arthur: "If you want to play seriously without taking yourself too seriously, come along.
Karadoc: "Otherwise, we'll send Percival to explain offside to you."
Perceval: "Offside is when the match is over!